Only 5

I tend to be hard on Syniah. She is the oldest. She has such a big heart and is very smart. She has this strong desire to please people. I know that she knows right from wrong and I know that when she is acting up she always knows better. What I do need to remind myself is that she is only 5. Only 5 years ago she entered this world and was my first baby. I need to remind myself that even though she is acting up and knows better she is just a kid and the things she is doing now is most likely nothing compare to the trouble she will get herself into as a teenager (ugh I hate to think that far....but I know her day will come).

This morning I went in her room to check on her and was reminded that she is still my baby. She still sleeps the way she did when I would stare at her in her bassinet. She still looks so sweet and small and I caught myself just staring at her. Last night she got in trouble for not cleaning up her room before she went to bed. As I brought out my camera to take pictures of her and glanced at the floor I was also reminded how one day I will miss those barbies on the floor. I am hard on her because she is such an amazing kid and I have high expectations for her but I need to remind myself that she is 5. She is amazing but only 5. She is still that baby I can stare at and watch sleep. I am not a perfect Mom and I too need to be reminded that kids make messes and kids drive you crazy but those moments that I spent scolding Niah for not cleaning I could have spent praising Niah for being amazing. I will never get these sweet moments of my 5 year old back. I need to remind myself of that.

I love you Syniah Grace.