I am a tired Mama lacking lots of sleep who usually types at midnight.....Please forgive my spelling and grammar :)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Leilah Faith is here!

We woke up about 4 am in the morning. All the bags were packed. Syniah was sleeping and we were waiting for Nana to come and take over so we could go to the hospital. I had so many emotions running though my head. I was excited that we would meet out baby, scared of the surgery, sad that Niah would have to grow up a little faster taking on her new role as a big sister, anxious to see what Leilah would look like, nervous for the recovery, depressed that I would be away from Niah for 3 days, and most of all in disbelief that this was really happening..............We we having another baby!

 Syniah woke up right before we left. I got to cuddle her a bit and kiss her. I got to reassure her that I will see her later and let her know that she will meet Leilah today. Nana got to the apartment and I went over all the last minute details. Showing her where everything was in Niah's luggage and going over Niah's outfit that she would wear to meet her new sister in. I kissed them both then Dada and I were on our way to St. Joseph hospital to have Leilah! I teared up a little. I had never been away from Syniah and I didn't want her thinking I abandoned her. She is just so small still and I know she is smart but can't understand everything that is going on. She had no idea how her life would change in a matter of hours. How she went from the center of our world to having to share it. We drove into the parking garage and it brought back all the memories from just 19 months ago. We were just there 19 months ago. Who would have known we would be back so soon. We walked through the halls and knew exactly where to go. Checked in and I was already shaking. It's as if I was really cold but really just nerves. i put on my gown. I continued to shake. My stomach had been tightening up all morning and as I was hooked up to the fetal monitor the nurse told me I was having contraction. I had no idea because I never knew what a contraction felt like since Niah was a planned Cesarean as well.   My IV was put in and then we just waited for Dr. Bewhile watching Full House (same thing we did when we were waiting for Dr. Be the day Niah was born).........................

The nurse came and told me it was time. I kissed Ervin and walked me out to the surgery room. I started shaking. Tears started coming down my eyes. I was scared. I sat on the operating table bare back with my gown open. Seamed like forever until the anesthesiologist came in. He explained everything and I started crying but also started feeling really sick. He gave me the spinal. As I was told to lay back I started gagging and felt so dizzy. Ervin came in and all the nurses and Doctor Be walked in. It was time........................

It all felt so familiar............I had been there before. In that same room. Same Doctor. Same shaky feeling. As they were cutting me open tears rolled down my face. Ervin explained to me everything that was going on. They pulled her out and it was as if they pulled out Syniah's identical twin. 8:57am

                       LEILAH                                  

 SYNIAH
7lbs 9oz  20inch long


Niah's comes to see Leilah for the first time it's official she is a BIG SISTER

I was afraid of how she would react. Would she feel replaced? Would she like her? 
I shouldn't have been. She was perfect with her. A little shy but curious.
She held her and she touched her eyes, and her nose, her mouth and her hair.
First kiss to Baby Sister
Niah's first time holding Leilah

Our sweet Leilah Faith

It's funny thinking back at how I thought I wouldn't love her enough.
Instead of not having enough love to go around, she made my heart even bigger,
stretched it right out and found a little nook in there that was all her own.
There was more than enough love to go around.

I learned that from Leilah.