TOMORROW......... EVERY THING CHANGES...

In less than 24hrs everything will change for our little family. We find out whether it's a boy or girl and the baby will finally have a name. I don't desire one sex over the other I will just take what God has in store for us. It makes me scared. I am 5 1/2 months and still i don't believe it. I know my heart is big enough for two but I just pray that I can give this one the love that I give my  Niah. I don't want a day to go by where Niah doesn't feel love from me. I want her to know that no matter what she will still always be my baby. I feel so torn between the two and the baby isn't even here yet. Everybody tells me that when the baby gets here it will all just come natural and i will love them the same and Niah will expect it and be excited. I just pray that's the truth. I am excited but i think my anxiety takes over. Sometimes I don't feel as though I was fair to Syniah. Like I didn't let her be the baby long enough, but I know she will be an awesome big sister. She has so much love to give. 

My Syniah Grace has been the best thing to happen to me. She has brought me more joy than I can even put into words. I have been blessed with a beautiful baby girl who has this amazing personality. I know we have another one coming and I hope it doesn't change who she. I hope she is never jealous and she never feels left out. I just pray God gives me the skills to be a good Mom to both. I am overwhelmed with emotions but I am excited. I am anticipating the day that My Syniah holds he baby brother or sister and kisses him or her. Syniah will be 19 months when the baby gets here. God prepare all our hearts :)

Syniah Grace,

                      I love you so much. I love you more than anything in this world. You have made me the proudest mama and you have made me know love and laughter like I have never known before. From the first day I felt you move in my tummy I was in love with you. The day I held you in my arms, to the day I saw your first smile or heard you call me "Mama," I fell even more in love with you. There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God that he choose me to be your Mama. Your 16 months old right now and you're not exactly sure what is going on. You kiss my belly and pull up my shirt and say "baby" or call the baby "Boo." I know you are smart and we tell you that you are going to be a big sister but I am not quite sure you understand those words. I know in my heart that you will be a good big sister. I know you will love you new baby. There is no doubt in my mind that you won't show this baby love.

  

You are the most love baby I have ever known. God knew exactly what his plan was for you and I believe he was only preparing your little heart to be a big sister this whole time. I can't wait till you meet you baby brother or sister.  Your going to be so loving. I know at times you won't always like having a baby around and that's okay but I promise to show you love and always make time for you. I promise that if you ever need me I will be there. You have a great Dada who loves you very much and between the two of us we will promise to be good parents to the both of you.

  

I look at pictures of you this past year and smile because you are so cute and beautiful but cry because you grew right before my eyes. You are walking, Talking, counting, you are doing things that I can't believe a one year old can do. I think what happened to the baby that I held in the hospital?

 

You are so independent. you try and do so many things on your own. You no longer need Mama's help anymore.

 

You wave "buh,bye" when we drop you off at school and sit at the big kid table and eat your breakfast.

I love when you say "hug" and wrap your arms around my neck and say "awww."

I love you sweet-pea. You are amazing. I am excited for you to grow even though it makes me sad. You are going to be a great big sister.

There is not a day that goes by that I won't love you. There is not a day that goes by that I won't be proud to call you my daughter. I have unconditional love for you and you Syniah Grace have taught me the meaning of that word. I love you my Foofa! 

Your a big girl now but you will always be my BABY. :)

Love,

    Your Mama