Five Months..........She is a big girl now!

How time has flown by. Just 5 months ago I was walking into the hospital to deliver my baby girl. She was so small and absolutely perfect since the day she was born. She has changed so much and has been developing into such a smart baby. She started to roll over five days ago and she now eats apples and avocados. She also started drinking from a sippy cup on 9/12/08. She is such a happy baby girl. She can brighten up any room and can turn my bad days upside down. I went back to work a week and a half ago and it has been the hardest thing I have ever done. My heart hurtsts more than I could have ever imagined. I cry everyday on my way to work and get teary eyed when I am at work just thinking about her. Sometimes I think "Why would I bring a child into the world when I am not financially stable enough to stay home with her and watch her grow?" I am missing out on so much and she is just so little. Words can't explain how much pain and emotion I have been through this past week. I am depressed just thinking about going to work on Monday. Gosh.............................................. Syniah started Kindercare on Monday September 8, 2008. She is doing great. She is really good there and is actually falling asleep on her own! I can't get her to do that at home! The childcare workers at that facility are great with her. I don't worry about her at all but it doesn't stop my tears from rolling down as I drop her off. I can't wait to get off work. I watch the clock the entire day and I count down the minutes until I get to drive home to pick her up. When I arrive to Kindercare and walk though those doors and see her smiling face it makes every bit of motherhood worth it.

The one bad thing about sending her starting daycare is that Syniah got sick 3 days into being into being there. They say that is normal. She had 102 fever and a really bad runny nose and congestion. She has been spending the last two days sleeping and sniffling. Niah is very uncomfortable and seems so sad. It makes me feel guilty. If Syniah just didn't go to daycare maybe then she wouldn't be sick...........................................

Syniah is my life. She means more to me than anything else in this world and as a mother I feel that its my job to not only protect her, comfort, and soothe her. Its hard to do all that 40 miles away from her when I am work everyday. I pray that God provides for us in a way that causes me to be home with my baby girl

My monkey is Five Months... Can you believe it??

Niah eating avocados 9/13/08

Niah's first bowl of cereal

Dada feeding Niah her first bowl of cereal. Niah didn't know how she felt about cereal.